Do You Need Towels? Sheets? Condoms?

What is it about going to college that makes everyone so concerned with all aspects of your life? Don't get me wrong-- I truly appriciate the money and gifts that everyone sent me for my graduation. I had no idea how expensive this college thing was but still there comes a point when all the advice has to end. Both of my parents have decided to give me the "talk." I'm actually kinda scared to inform them that I know all about the "S" word already. That could lead down paths I really don't want to go and stories that would leave me sleepless at night---
Then it got better. Several of my family members have talked to me about birth control. One wants me to go on the pill and the other told me that they would make sure I had plenty of condoms if I needed them. "Make sure you suit up before riding that bull" was I believe one discussion I had to endure. Whatever happened to "a man won't buy a cow he can get milk from for free?" As much as I disliked being compared to a member of the bolvine family, I find the 'boys have a penis and girls have a vagina' discussion much more disturbing when it comes from people that changed my nappy as a infant. I mean seriously it is very strange to be told "don't have sex" and handed a box of condoms in the same ten second time span and usually by the same person.
But on the upside I could host quite an orgy- and a safe one at that- if we wanted to get one organized.